12/31/17- 9am – written yesterday but D is slow
There are so many things to talk about!!! I don’t know where to start, really, because so much time has passed since I last wrote.
I guess this will be a multi-topic post and I will start with the most recent stuff.
We are at my mom’s now (I will call this K Squared, since her wife is also a K). I just finished sewing a baby quilt for my friend’s toddler – two years in the making!!! It looks really great though and I am so excited to give it to her/her kid. We are going to see them tomorrow. I am a little sad about this as it will mean leaving my mum and I don’t really feel ready to leave my mum. We barely got much time together due her working and us being everywhere else. I usually get a lot more time with her. It doesn’t help that she seems sad about it too… I don’t know, I am a little sad about leaving New England even though I miss our house and our respective spaces and beds. Plus it will be nice to get time alone again with D and L. I think they are pretty ready to get home. (We tend to be homebodies when we’re not traveling!)
That being said, this trip has been pretty amazing, all things considered. I am honestly surprised with how smoothly everything has gone – both with families and among the three of us. I mean, I’ve had a couple small spats with L and D over the last week – but with tight quarters, that’s sort of expected and none of it was major. I know D gushed over how well I do with balancing these two relationships, but I have to give them both a ton of credit. I don’t know how I would do it if L and D weren’t so selfless and thoughtful, especially of each other.
They are both the most considerate people and they always try to help ease things for one another. It also just surprises me how well they can maintain boundaries. Whenever I am having a disagreement with one, it almost never leaks into my relationship with the other in terms of their involvement. If L and I are having a discussion, D doesn’t usually get involved and vice versa. But even on the rare occasions where they DO get involved, it’s not in a way where I ever feel ganged up on. In fact, I kind of appreciate the rare instances where they say something because I always feel like it comes from a place of wanting to help ease the communication barriers – we are all pretty indirect communicators, for better or for worse, and sometimes an outside voice helps bridge the gap. D did this today with L and I – L and I, despite all our years together, often struggle to be on the same page when it comes to plans. I am too wishy washy (really, as I learn in therapy, just bad at stating my desires and decisions outright, which I am working on) and floaty when it comes to plans – I’d rather have an outline than a hard and fast schedule. They work more in the concrete, and if it’s not confirmed, then it’s not happening usually in their mind. We’ve always had to work on this! Even with grocery trips in the beginning of our relationship lol. Anyways, I think I just feel a lot of appreciation for what we all bring to our trio. L grounds D and I, who would probably float around a lot more. D is like the grease in the wheels to get the cart rolling – because L and I can tend to be immovable at times. And I guess, despite my denying this role often, I guess I steer the ship more often than not, since I have many preferences…
I feel like there was a lot more I wanted to reflect on, but here’s some short snippets since I am tired:
- I always forget how much K Squared remind me of L and I – we had a few good laughs seeing our own relationship reflected back at ourselves today. (which is funny because my mom is a Pisces and her partner is a Cancer – which are D and I’s signs, respectively… L is a Scorpio, go figure.)
- Everyone has reacted really well to D, L, and I. I mean, it’s not like we’ve “come out” or been a surprise to anyone on this trip, but it’s still sort of… surprising we haven’t gotten more questions.
- We saw the Shape of Water and it was a really great movie!
- We saw my old hometown and it brought back a lot of memories, some of which I may share later.
That’s all for now.