So… no… not at all… no…
Its funny, E, L, and I have been living together for over a year and people know this. But no one has ever asked us where or how we sleep. No one wonders if we have three separate beds … or one bed per couple… or bunk beds… or if we each curl up in a nest we have concocted of grass, leaves, and shiny debris….
No one asked AT ALL until… I said E and I were getting a new bed.
For reference, E and I have a bed together and E and L have a bed together.
As I have gone about the past few weeks, working or interacting with family, I have been asking people what they feel is the best option for mattresses. They casually pass over their advice and suggestions (which we didn’t follow). Then their eyes cloud with confusion and they stare at me a minute. I wait, seeing with the clarity of an INFJ Pisces, the question they are debating whether or not they want to ask.
Then they ask….
“When you say we… you mean…?”
“You and Ethan or…?”
“Is it just for you and…”
So, no the three of us do not sleep in one bed.
A: L and I wouldn’t cross that boundary. We have very distinct sleeping habits. I like music and a glowy-starship and my bear. L… seems to fall asleep to the Office (I don’t really know). WE DON’T EVEN HUG!
B: E WOULD DIE. For as much as he loves having L on one side and me on the other at the movies and on the couch and… ETC. He would get hot and would have to remove one of us. Not to mention the two cats that try to sleep with L and the two dogs who try to sleep with me.
I am sure this seems disappointing… if you haven’t guessed we aren’t exceptionally … exciting in bedroom ways. Poly isn’t about that for us. There are probably trio’s who do sleep all together but… hard pass for us.
The mattress conundrum seems to be a Poly theme though. We talked about the mattress purchasing in our Poly discussion group once. If one couple buys a new one should the other couple? Are there BOGO deals on mattresses? If a primary couple gets a bed does the secondary person get to be on it (we aren’t a hierarchy though…)?
So E and I have bought a new mattress. And L is in their own nest.