In a row

The saying is … get your ducks in a row. Reference the banner pic for this blog… this seems to be how my life is going today.

  1. Those aren’t ducks… those are geese
  2. These are “Canadian” geese… in Indiana
  3. I assume they mean get your baby geese in a row
  4. Can you even incentivize geese to get in a row

Right, lets get some background information since it has been a while. L is in Florida now and that is great! I am done with the main school year (college teacher) and am about to start on the summer semester. E is nearing the end on his school year (middle school teacher). There is also the countdown to E and I moving to Florida.

1.Those aren’t ducks those are geese.

It has been an interesting few weeks trying to work out how E and I can live with out L in the house. For me it is beyond what could be considered a “roommate” situation. Sure, I miss the way L does dishes but there is a lot more. I almost never turn on the t.v., I get more of E’s attention, I miss them saying ridiculous things, I miss watching shows together. I miss my friend. I know E misses L too, in ten thousand ways I cant even began to speculate on.

Also we are all going to have different careers soon… and be in a new city… an a new house….

I guess, up to now,I feel like we have been all working on setting up rows of ducks (going to school, going to work, living in a house in Indiana, being a trio.) Now all the ducks are gone and we are all scrambling to try to figure out how to manage geese.

This has been especially tricky financially. I am moving from “school year pay” to “summer pay” which is much less. E is leaving his job and will be facing an income decline. L makes good money but student loans are kicking their ass now (don’t get me started on loans). So what? Do we pool the resources and split it as needed (communism), do we establish a minimum welfare transfer to those in need according to a voted upon standard (socialism), do we let those with wealth volunteer to aid those in need as it benefits them (capitalism), do we give it up as hopeless (nihilism)!! I D K.

Important poly note: adding more earners does not make finances easier to manage.

2.These are “Canadian” geese… in Indiana

They probably don’t know they aren’t in Canada… if they ever were in Canada. I wonder if they think of it as all one big place but this part (the south) is warmer than that part (the north). I know that nations and boarders and things are human constructs. But what do the geese know? Do they have different rules for living in Canada v. Indiana? Do they drop the accent as they come south or gain one? Do they board up their old ponds and ask the neighbors to take in the mail? Do they count the days until they go home? Do they-

*takes a deep breath*

I would like to say that this analogy is as simple as us moving to Florida but I think it is more about worrying about the future. Its hard to think about it. I have a place I know and I must take actions to be in a different place soon. So … I am just going to leave this right here.

3.I assume they mean get your baby geese in a row

I  learned along time ago that it is hard to get anything about a life to sort out and that if you sort one part some other part gets wonky. So I was thinking… if it is the baby geese that need to be in rows then do you need to only get the new things in rows. Should I only row the change in jobs, the move, and the physical absence of my friend… or should I try and put all of that into rows with all the other stuff… not that I know what that other stuff is right now.

I think the only thing I have in a row is that I think E and I are going a pretty decent job of living on our own together. We have never done this before. We either lived apart or with L. I have to appreciate that, even though E has lived with L for near on a decade, this is still a different experience for him. I am very different from L in many ways. And being the hinge doesn’t automatically give him more or less ability to manage this baby goose we have. I also have to keep in mind that his geese are not my geese… not really. His reaction to our situation is and will be decidedly difference from mine. That can be hard to think about. How do you get your own new things in a row with your old things and respect that someone else is also trying to row their shit too?

4.Can you even incentivize geese to get in a row

I am an economist. My models depend on the understanding that incentive can drive action in a system. So what incentive can give myself to get these geese in a row… naps aren’t getting it done. I don’t usually focus on money but that is usually everyone’s go to for an incentive. But its not like I can pay myself…. Right?

And I cant payoff the geese right?

I think trying to keep my people… my poly tribe.. in a good place is an incentive to me. I want to take care of E and L…

But they both are pretty resistant to being taken care of sometimes… so … do I need to pay them?


This is sort of the “hope” I am keeping for everything. There are a lot of little baby geese not in a row in the photo but there are also a lot of big geese. Adults right? That’s what they call us.

One goose can lead the way, two can manage the sides and one brings up the rear. I guess that is how I hope E, L, and I will manage our geese… I don’t think they will ever be in rows, and for every baby we might be able to manage into adulthood, I know we will have to manage many more baby geese. But I think we can do it together.


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