Don’t date partners who don’t have partners?

E and I went to a poly brunch / discussion group and an interesting point came up.

There are some people who are poly hings in the group and they all sort of said that if you are a poly person you should NOT do two things.

  1. Do not date people who do not date other people.
  2. Do not date people who are new to poly.

Well let me tell you what E did/does both of those things… and I am sort of offended that poly people are giving out this advice.

I get how it is a hassle- trying to explain what poly is and your way of doing it. But it is not your potentials fault if they struggle – especially coming from mono relationship structures.

Also your partners don’t need other partners. L and I don’t have other partners and we live happy lives. I get that people might not want to be the “one and only” for two people but it doesn’t have to be that way.

I guess I am mostly annoyed that the advice is “Dont” do these things when I feel like it should be “Here is what happens when you encounter these things.”

Do I have that advice to give today? No… but I will keep thinking about it.

I just wanted to put this out there.


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