E and I went to a poly brunch / discussion group and an interesting point came up.
There are some people who are poly hings in the group and they all sort of said that if you are a poly person you should NOT do two things.
- Do not date people who do not date other people.
- Do not date people who are new to poly.
Well let me tell you what E did/does both of those things… and I am sort of offended that poly people are giving out this advice.
I get how it is a hassle- trying to explain what poly is and your way of doing it. But it is not your potentials fault if they struggle – especially coming from mono relationship structures.
Also your partners don’t need other partners. L and I don’t have other partners and we live happy lives. I get that people might not want to be the “one and only” for two people but it doesn’t have to be that way.
I guess I am mostly annoyed that the advice is “Dont” do these things when I feel like it should be “Here is what happens when you encounter these things.”
Do I have that advice to give today? No… but I will keep thinking about it.
I just wanted to put this out there.